Practice Your Japanese Voice Acting With Uirouri! (外郎売り

the term 'Uiro uri' refers to the medicine peddler's long speech in the play. 

It is used for vocal and articulation exercises at training schools for actors and entertainers. The readings of Kanji characters and pitch accents of the speech vary with the school.

Uirouri! (外郎売り）

Sessha oyakata to mousu wa,
拙者親方と申すは、
otachi ai no uchi ni gozonji no okata mo gozarimashou ga
御立会の内に御存知の御方も御座りましょうが,
oedou o tatte nijuuri kamigata,
御江戸を発って二十里上方、
soushuu odawara isshikimachi o osuginasarete,
相州小田原一色町を御過ぎなされて、
aomonochou onobori e oide nasarureba
青物町を上りへ御出でなさるれば、
rankan bashi toraya touemon
欄干橋虎屋藤右衛門、
tadaima wa teihatsu itashite ensai to nanorimasuru.
只今では剃髪致して圓斎と名乗りまする。

My master is, I guess some of you already know, 78.54 km away from Edo in the direction of Kyoto, passing through Isshiki town, Odawara City, Sagami Province, then going further from Aomono town toward Kyoto, there he lives, Rankanbashi Toraya Toemon, now he is tonsured and calls himself Ensai.
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Ganchou yori ootsugomori made,
元朝より大晦日まで
o te ni iremasuru, kono kusuri wa
御手に入れまする此の薬は、
mukashi, chin no kuni no toujin,
昔、珍の国の唐人、
uirou to iu hito, waga chou e kitari,
外郎と云う人我が朝へ来たり。
Mikado e sandai no ori kara, kono kusuri o fukaku kome oki,
帝へ参内の折から此の薬を深く込め置き、
mochi yuru toki wa ichiryuu zutsu, kanmuri no sukima yori tori idasu.
用うる時は一粒ずつ冠の隙間より取り出だす。

This medicine, which is available from New Year's Day to New Year's Eve, dates back to the day when a foreigner from the country of Chin (珍), named Uiro, came to our country long ago. After he visited to the Imperial Palace he hid this medicine far away, and each time when he needed, he took one pill from the space of the court cap.
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Yotte sono na o, mikado yori “touchinkou” to tamawaru.
依ってその名を帝より「透頂香」と賜る。
Sunawachi monji ni wa, “itadaki, suku, nioi” to kaite “touchinkou” to mousu.
即ち文字には頂き・透く・香と書いて透頂香と申す。

From this, the medicine was named 'Tochinko' by the Emperor. That is, with letters for head (頂) clearing (透) scent (香), it's pronounced Tochinko.
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Tadaima wa kono kusuri, koto no hoka sejou ni hiromari, houbou ni nisekanban wo idashi,
只今では此の薬、殊の外、世上に広まり、方々に偽看板を出だし
Iya, odawara no, haidawara no, sandawara no, sumidawara no to, iroiro ni mouse domo,
イヤ小田原の、灰俵の、さん俵の、炭俵のと色々に申せども
hiragana wo motte “uirou” to shiruseshi wa oyakata ensai bakari,
平仮名を以って「ういろう」と記せしは親方圓斎ばかり
moshiya otachi ai no uchi ni, atami ka, tou no sawa e touji ni oide nasaruruka,
もしや御立会の内に、熱海か塔ノ沢へ湯治に御出でなさるるか
mata wa, ise gosanguu no orikara wa, kanarazu kadochigai nasaremasuruna.
又は伊勢御参宮の折からは、必ず門違いなされまするな。

These days, unexpectedly, this medicine has become widespread in the world; there are dishonest signs everywhere, saying it's made in Odawara, haidawara (straw bag of ash), sandawara (lid of komedawara, rice bag), sumidawara (straw bag for charcoal), etc., but it's only my master Ensai who gives 'uiro' in hiragana (Japanese syllabary characters). If you have the opportunity to go to Atami City, Hakone hotspring, or Tonosawa hotspring for the baths, or visit to Ise Jingu Shrine, be sure not to go to the wrong place.
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Onobori naraba migi no kata, okudari naraba hidarigawa
御上りならば右の方、御下りなれば左側、
happou ga yatsumune, omote ga mitsumune gyokudou zukuri
八方が八つ棟、面が三つ棟、玉堂造、
hafu ni wa kiku ni, kiri no tou no gomon o goshamen ate, keizu tadashiki kusuri de gozaru.
破風には菊に桐の薹の御紋を御赦免あって、系図正しき薬で御座る。

On the way to Kyoto it's on the right, on the way from Kyoto it's on the left, the store has eight ridges in eight direction and three beautiful ridges at the front; for the gables the crest of chrysanthemum and paulownia is permitted to use to prove this is the medicine of good lineage.
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Iya saizen yori kamei no jiman bakari moushitemo,
イヤ最前より家名の自慢ばかり申しても,
gozonji nai kata ni wa, shoushin no koshou no marunomi, Shirakawa yofune,
御存知無い方には正真の胡椒の丸呑み、白河夜船,
saraba ichiryuu tabekakete, sono kimi ai o ome ni kakemashou.
されば一粒食べ掛けて、その気味合いを御目に掛けましょう.

No matter how much I boast about the family name, for those who have no idea, it's like swallowing up real peppercorns or being asleep on a ship at night (they don't know what is going on), so I will try one pill to show you how it works. 
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Mazu kono kusuri wo, kayou ni ichiryuu/hitotsubu shita no ue ni nosemashite, fukunai e osamemasuruto,
先ず此の薬を斯様に一粒舌の上に乗せまして、腹内へ納めますると、
iya doumo ienu wa; I, shin, hai, kan ga sukoyaka ni narite, kunpuu nondo yori kitari,
イヤどうも言えぬわ、胃・心・肺・肝が健やかに成りて、薫風喉より来たり、
kouchuu biryou o shou zuru ga gotoshi,
口中微涼を生ずるが如し。
gyo, cho, kinoko, menrui no kui awase,sono hoka, manbyou sokkou arukoto kami no gotoshi.
魚・鳥・茸・麺類の食い合わせ、その他万病即効在る事神の如し。

First, put one pill on the tongue like this, and down it to the stomach, then, oh, I don't know what to say, the stomach, heart, lungs and liver has become healthy, and fragrant breath comes out from the throat to cause the slight coolness in the mouth. Not only health troubles caused by eating fish, fowl, mushrooms and noodles in unsuitable combination, but also all other diseases immediately disappear as if it's a work of God.
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Sate, kono kusuri, dai ichi no kimyou ni wa, shita no mawaru koto ga, zeni koma ga hadashi de nigeru.
さて此の薬、第一の奇妙には、舌の廻る事が銭ごまが裸足で逃げる。
Hyotto shita ga mawari dasuto, ya mo tate mo tamaranu ja.
ヒョッと舌が廻り出すと矢も盾も堪らぬじゃ。

Well, the first amazing effect caused by this medicine is it makes you voluble and the motion of your tongue will be much faster and smoother than of spinning top. Once your tongue starts moving, nothing can stop it.
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Sorya sorya sorasorya, mawatte kita wa, mawatte kuru wa,
そりゃそりゃそらそりゃ、廻って来たわ、廻って来るわ.
awaya nodo, satarana shita ni, kagesa shion,
アワヤ喉、サタラナ舌にカ牙サ歯音、
hama no futatsu wa kuchibiru no keichou, kaigou sawayaka ni, '
ハマの二つは唇の軽重。開合爽やかに、
akasatana hamayarawa, okosotono homoyorowo o,
アカサタナハマヤラワ、オコソトノホモヨロヲ。
hitotsu hegi hegi ni, hegi hoshi hajikami, bon mame, bon gome, bon gobou,
一つへぎへぎに、へぎ干し・はじかみ、盆豆・盆米・盆牛蒡、
tsumi date, tsumi mame, tsumi zanshou, shoshazan no shasoujou,
摘蓼・摘豆・摘山椒、書写山の社僧正。=================================================

kogome no namagami, kogome no namagami, kon kogome no konamagami,
小米の生噛み、小米の生噛み、こん小米のこ生噛み。
shusu, hijusu, shusu, shucchin,
。繻子・緋繻子、繻子・繻珍。

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oya mo kahei, ko mo kahei, oya kahei, ko kahei, ko kahei, oya kaehei,
親も嘉兵衛、子も嘉兵衛、親嘉兵衛・子嘉兵衛、子嘉兵衛・親嘉兵衛。
furu kuri no ki no furu kiriguchi,
古栗の木の古切り口。
amagappaka, ban gappaka,
雨合羽か番合羽か。
kisama no kyahan mo kawa gyahan,
貴様の脚絆も革脚絆、
warera ga kyahan mo kawa gyahan,
我等が脚絆も革脚絆。
shikka wa bakama no shippo korobi wo,
尻革袴のしっ綻びを、
Mihari hari naka ni choto nuute, nuute chotto bundase,
三針針長にちょと縫うて、縫うてちょとぶん出せ。
kawara nadeshiko, noze kichiku,
河原撫子・野石竹、
nora nyorai, nora nyorai, minora nyorai ni munora nyorai,
野良如来、野良如来、三野良如来に六野良如来。====================================================

chotto saki no okobotoke ni, oketsuma zukyaruna, osomizo ni dojo nyorori,
一寸先の御小仏に御蹴躓きゃるな、細溝にどじょにょろり。
kyou no namadara, nara nama managatsuo, choto shigokanme.
京の生鱈、奈良生真名鰹、ちょと四五貫目。
ochatacho, chatacho, chatto tacho ochatacho,
御茶立ちょ、茶立ちょ、ちゃっと立ちょ。茶立ちょ、
aotake chasen de, ocha chato tacha.
青竹茶筅で御茶ちゃっと立ちゃ。
Kuru wa kuru wa, nani ga kuru.
来るわ来るわ何が来る、
Kouya no yama no okokera kozou,
高野の山の御杮小僧、
tanuki hyappiki, hashi hyaku zen, tenmoku hyappai, bou happyappon
狸百匹、箸百膳、天目百杯、棒八百本。

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Bugu, bagu, bugu, bagu, mibugu bagu,
武具、馬具、武具馬具、三武具馬具、
awasete bugu bagu mubugu bagu,
合わせて武具馬具、六武具馬具。
kiku, kuri, kiku kuri, mikiku kuri,
菊、栗、菊栗、三菊栗、
awasete kiku kuri, mukikukuri,
合わせて菊栗、六菊栗。
mugi gomi mugi gomi, mimugi gomi,
麦、塵、麦塵、三麦塵、
awasete mugi gomi mumugigomi,
合わせて 麦塵、六麦塵。
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Ano nageshi no naga naginatawa, taga naga naginatazo,
あの長押の長薙刀は誰が長薙刀ぞ。
mukou no gomagara wa, e no gomagaraka, ma gomagaraka,are koso hon no magomagara.
向こうの胡麻殻は荏の胡麻殻か真胡麻殻か、あれこそ本の真胡麻殻。
garapii garapii kazaguruma,
がらぴぃがらぴぃ風車。
okya garekoboshi, okya garekoboshi,
起きゃがれ小法師、起きゃがれ小法師、
yunbe mo koboshite mata koboshita.
昨夜も溢してまた溢した。
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taapupopo, taapupopo, chirikara, chirikara,tsuttappo, tappo tappo icchou dako,
たぁぷぽぽ、たぁぷぽぽ、ちりからちりから、つったっぽ、たっぽたっぽ一干蛸。
ochitara nitekuo, nite mo yaite mo kuwarenu mono wa,
落ちたら煮て食お、煮ても焼いても食われぬ物は、
gotoku, tekkyuu, kanaguma douji ni, ishiguma, ishimochi,toraguma, tora kisu,
五徳・鉄灸、金熊童子に、石熊･石持･虎熊･虎鱚。
naka de mo, touji no rashoumon ni wa, ibaragi douji ga ude guri gongou tsukande omusharu,
中でも東寺の羅生門には、茨木童子が腕栗五合掴んでおむしゃる、
kano raikou no hiza motosarazu
彼の頼光の膝元去らず。
Funa, kinkan, shiitake, sadamete godanna,
鮒･金柑･椎茸･定めて後段な、
sobakiri, soumen, udonka, gudona koshin bochi,
蕎麦切り・素麺、饂飩か愚鈍な小新発知。
kodana no, koshita no, kooke ni, komiso ga, koaru zo,
小棚の小下の小桶に小味噌が小有るぞ、
go shakuchi, ko motte, ko sukutte, ko yokose,
小杓子小持って小掬って小寄こせ。==================================================

otto, gattenda,
おっと合点だ、
kokoroe tanbono, Kawasaki, kanagawa, hodogawa, totsuka wo, hashitte ikeba,
心得田圃の川崎･神奈川･程ヶ谷･戸塚は走って行けば、
yaito o suri muku, sanri bakarika,
灸を擦り剥く三里ばかりか、
fujisawa, Hiratsuka, ooiso gashi ya, koiso no shukko wo nanatsu oki shite,
藤沢･平塚･大磯がしや、小磯の宿を七つ起きして、
souten sousou, soushuu odawara touchinkou,
早天早々、相州小田原、透頂香。
kakure gozaranu kisengunju no, hana no o edou no hana uirou,
隠れ御座らぬ貴賎群衆の、花の御江戸の花ういろう。==================================================

are ano hana o mite, o kokoro o, o yawaragiya to iu,
アレあの花を見て、御心を御和らぎやと言う、
ubuko, hauko ni itaru made, kono uirou no go hyouban,
産子・這子に至るまで、此の外郎の御評判、
gozonjinai to wa mousaremaimai tsuburi
御存じ無いとは申されまいまいつぶり、
Tsuno dase, bou dase, boubou mayu ni,
角出せ棒出せぼうぼう眉に、
usu, kine, suribachi bachibachi gwara gwara gwara to,
臼杵擂鉢ばちばち桑原桑原桑原と、
hame wo hazushite konnichi oide no izure mosama ni,
羽目を外して今日御出での何茂様に、
ageneba naranu, uraneba naranuto, ikki sei hippari,
上げねばならぬ、売らねばならぬと、息勢引っぱり
touhou sekai no kusuri no motojime,
東方世界の薬の元締、
yakushin nyorai mo shouran areto,
薬師如来も照覧あれと、
hoho uyamatte, uirou wa, irassharimasenu ka.
ホホ敬って外郎はいらっしゃりませぬか。

Translated